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Somebody ought to give these guys a clue: put a sock in it so the rest of us don’t have to listen to your hysterical death moans.
While on the Internet the other day (my chief form of both livelihood and information), I was visiting right-of-center Real Clear Politics – who I adopted during the last three years of campaigning because they were the only ones who averaged all the polls.
I was astonished to find, after Tax Day, how many disparate and desperate opinion (not factual) pieces their were about what had happened. It went from twisted support to knife-twisted-in-back denial. Even commentary on commentary where Keith Obermann had used reportedly sexual innuendo to describe it.
Who cares? No, really – WHO CARES?!?
There is a reason that the NY Times is estimating a 30%+ loss in advertising revenue for the next year. There is a reason for the “Big City” newspapers going under at a record pace. There is a reason that people who watch the Network news are fewer and fewer by double-digit percentages. There was even a rumor that one of the two people who watch MSNBC and CNBC (they take turns) – actually fell asleep…
Relevance.
The mainstream media can’t get used to the fact that it’s dying. A very slow and painful death (at least for the rest of us.)
It’s not that people don’t care. They don’t care for the slant, the diatribes, the couched phrases, the unabashed support of certain liberal senators.
People don’t care who is the anchor for the evening news or what sex they are – they don’t watch it anyway. (Except for the reviewers and those employed by NBC, CBS, and ABC. But these are the mourners, not the rest of the passer-bys outside the cemetery on the sidewalk.)
People do care about what is going on and what is really happening. And they know that there is more than two sides to every story – and that anyone who thinks they are some sort of expert officiator is full of more manure than any herd out there. (And they are thinking about taxing farmers for cow gas – what about newscaster and politician gas?!?)
While the mainstream media is dying off, why are local papers (and local banks for that matter) doing just fine and even – gasp – expanding in this economy?
Relevance.
What’s on the local newspaper front page? What happened locally that day. What’s on page 3 or page 5? National and World News. Oh, there is a blurb which runs at the bottom if something important is happening. But covering the election – it’s how the local voter turnout went.
Some used to say that there were bubbles on each coast (probably connected by a very long tube) where all the “really important” stuff happened. And we in the middle were lucky enough just to capture bits and pieces and overviews of it – that we should feel honored that there were three news agencies who would digest it all and present it in half-hour segments each night at dinner.
Let’s get something straight. They’re nuts.
I watch TV for the weather and get my news from the Internet. And this means that I try to avoid the National News, since they don’t carry local weather. My family likes to catch the sports as well. But that’s it.
And our TV has to be propped up when any “Network News” is on, because they are so slanted, the TV would fall off the stand if it weren’t supported.
Impartial? Look, my dogs are impartial – as long as I feed them something they can eat and they have a dry spot to lie in. My cows are impartial – as long as they have plenty of pasture or hay and water (and I keep the dogs from chasing them). Try treating a “news person” that way.
But is that a fair comparison? Well, how do the news people treat me? “This political party is horrible; that political party is saving the day.” The government did this nonsense thing today, but when the business do the same nonsense thing yesterday, they covered it as some horrible sin against humanity. Some politicians and candidates are held up on pedestals, some others are held up to thinly veiled scorn.
Do I need real facts that I can judge for myself? Yes. Do I need to put up with noise and pandering and slanted diatribes couched as “fair, impartial journalism”? Hell, no.
So around this house the TV goes off except for the morning and evening weather. We get the local “big city” paper on Sunday. I have one favorite comic strip, my brother-in-law likes the want ads, my mother likes the opinion section and the recipes (only one of which soothes the stomach – guess which…)
What’s entertainment? Nothing on TV. What’s the commercials for their “hot, new shows” — people dying, getting killed, being investigated after being killed, investigations into killings that happened years ago, specials on people who are trying to save the planet (which is being killed….) And so on. Ad nauseum.
Or there are “reality shows”. Nope. People on remote islands and deserts doing stupid antics and trying to act like the TV cameras aren’t there. Do you see any camera in a trailer park seeing people raise their kids while they hold down two jobs and their grandmother makes sure the kids’ homework gets done? Nope. We see millionaire bachelors fooling around with 20 or more women and deciding to “marry” one of them. Yeah, that’s real. Or game shows where 20 or so girls with amplified bosoms and barely dressed holding briefcases so a bald guy can tease a person into saying and doing really stupid things to “win” something in those empty cases. That’s real high-brow.
How about comedy. Go ahead – find some. Most of the half-decent comedy reruns used to fill afternoon slots and now has been replaced by “Judge Jerky” and “Judge Korky” and ‘Law & Order” reruns from five years ago.
OK, there is one show we watch when we can get it – a game show where the host is actually polite and funny at times and people do nothing but win money if they can guess the words right. Nobody dies, no one gets investigated, no one’s in prison. No sex, no violence, nobody dies (some of the jokes fall flat, but that’s no crime…)
Sure, there’s plenty of all that on the Internet as well, you could say. But there is also a lot of everything else as well – tons more. And the choice itself is relevance.
And yes, we used to watch Fox News and the Discovery Channel and even CSPAN – until some boobs decided to take it off the big dish – and we tried the small dish for awhile and got tired of paying for 20-30 channels of stuff we didn’t want for the 2 or 3 we did.
It’s cheaper to just watch what we want – local news and local weather – then turn it off the rest of the time.
Why, oh why do I have to listen and watch what some cock-eyed TV or newspaper executive – someone who has probably never had to change his own flat tire, or grow his own vegetables, or raise chickens for the eggs and stew them when they got too old – much less rescue a healthy calf that was born in an unseasonal blizzard, and raising them to a good weight only to sell them off at auction a year later.
No, most of these guys grew up in some suburb and then moved into a condo or apartment where they don’t even have a yard – working in another high-rise across town (so to speak) where they listened to other people in suits who spoke from “on high” about what advertisers thought people wanted to hear on those magic boxes in their living rooms.
And the “down their nose” attitude toward the rest of the country is infectious and spreads like the plague up and down the halls of those palatial boardrooms and studios.
Does anybody really care that Keith Obermann pouted until he got a door with a window in it for his new office? Hell, no.
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Here’s a reality show I’d like to see: get all those newscasters and TV personalities and line them up in front of a series of “pre-owned” cars. No, get some real used ones. You know, the ones where nobody cares to wax them any more because it would point out the rust spots worse.
Make sure they are dressed up in their usual suits and blouses and whatnot. Give them all a wireless mic so they think they know what they are doing. Then tell them it’s a contest and they have to change that flat tire on the car behind them, get it started and drive it to the filling station 5 miles away. Good luck.
I’m often talking out loud to my Senator or the President or one of these news anchors as I’m on the third day of fixing a section of fence the rain took out last fall and the wind dropped a couple of trees on during the winter. Do any of these guys look like they could even start a chain-saw, much less run one for a few hours? How about splicing barbed-wire? Know how to herd cattle just on your lonesome and two half-trained dogs without spooking them or losing any calves? Do they know what to do with a steer who’s got bloated up from eating too much wet clover in the spring?
I’ll swap them for their job almost any day – for awhile, anyway. I could do what they do with no problem. Write some stories and read them off in front of a robot camera. Nothing to it. Really. But it would be harder on me, because I know they wouldn’t take care of my herd and I’d be way behind when I got back because they wouldn’t know how to get the equipment ready for this season’s planting.
AND – they’d get all the good food, while I would have to make do with a bunch of stuff shipped in from thousands of miles away and was about as fresh as the bottom of my boots. (Would smell nicer, though…)
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Yes, I’m the same Dr. Robert C. Worstell who has a PhD and 7 other degrees. So don’t get all snooty with me. I’ve written, edited, and published around 4 dozen books and keep up with (more or less) another two dozen blogs – that I personally post to, not some scriptwriter down a long hall somewhere. I’ve given speeches, podcasts, videos – been there, done that.
But I also know how to drive a dual-axle 10-speed transmission, a John Deere tractor with a couple less (and two of those are reverse) – and which cover crops will bring back soil fertility in a worn-out flood plain.
And I know better than to take a tour bus into the middle of a corn field in Iowa in order to “get a story” about a combine and corn harvest, only to get stuck in soft ground (not even mud.)
Oh, come on. Same folks who got a corn picker and a combine mixed up last year (“reporting” some tragic accident from the year before). Heard the same story all day, about 5 or 6 times – somewhere in there it was corrected, at least by dinner. This was on national news – not the local channel. They’d have more sense.
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Do I know about big cities? Sure – I lived in L.A. for over 20 years. Right downtown Hollywood – not in those suburbs. So I’ve seen the crime, and the pimps, and ho’s, and “bruthah’s”, and the rich and famous as well. Porn peddled on the street corners and dirt almost everywhere (except when there is a premiere where they sweep it up and hose it down and put some red carpets over it.) The bums are back the next day, just as soon as the crews take down the velvet ropes.
Which do I prefer? Guess. Where did I make more money? Guess. Does money buy happiness or accurate news reporting? Don’t even have to flip a coin on that one.
So these news guys and gals should take a hint or two:
1. Get a real job, get a real life.
2. Go do something nice for someone for a change. Quit talking everything and everyone down because your ’spozed to’.
3. Get a real yard and plant a real garden. Raise some tomatoes and lettuce, maybe some sweet corn.
4. Meanwhile, put a sock in it and j-u-s-t – s-h-u-t – u-p, would you?